by Jackie Mahaney
You think you will "just know" when you have met "the one" for you? I wouldn't be so sure.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that initial attraction we have when we meet someone that we are wildly attracted to is mostly out of control pheromones causing us to falsely believe we are in love.
Although attraction is important for the mating process, there are other qualities that are equally, if not more important- and if you can recognize them, perhaps you will know you have met the one... for you!
#1. "The One" Shows A Genuine Interest In You
How many dates have you been on where all the guy or girl does... is talk about themselves? When someone is really ready for a relationship, they begin to ask questions. They inquire about you because they want to know if you share enough common interests with them, that a relationship could be a possibility.
"The One" will want to know about your life, your hopes, dreams and ideas about the future.
#2. "The One" Doesn't Play Games
"The One" will call you when he says they he is going to call. He will ask you to spend time together. You won't have to worry that you'll never hear from him again because you know that he likes you.
He will be honest and upfront about where he is at in life. If he isn't ready for a serious relationship, he will tell you. If he is ready for a serious relationship, he will tell you that too! "The One" is not going to lie to you or play games with your heart.
#3. "The One" Won't Rush A Relationship
Most people who are serious about finding a mate, realize that the process takes time. Getting to know someone and care about them is not something that should be rushed.
Often people rush into relationships because they fear that the relationship will not last. They want to have everything NOW and don't take the time necessary to build trust, friendship and love.
#4. "The One" Will Honor Your Existing Relationships
So often when people meet someone that they want to date, they let go of existing relationships with friends and family members. While it is natural to want to spend your every waking minute with the person who holds your infatuation... "the one" will recognize that you had a life before they came into it... and they will want you to make time for others that love you.
Balancing time between friends, family and love relationships can be a challenge- but it is important to do so. "The One" will respect that.
#5. "The One" Will Share Many Similarities
Opposites might attract, but typically not for long! Studies show that couples who do not share common goals and interests are not as happy as those who do.
Issues of particular concern are:
Religion: Opposite religious beliefs can exist in relationships as long as the differences can be tolerated and respected. The best case scenario is when couples share in their spirituality... this can often draw them closer and give their relationship a sense of higher purpose.
Money: This has less to do with how much money each person in the relationship makes... and more about the value that each person puts on the green stuff. Figure out what money represents to you and then find out what it means to your partner. Does money equal security or does it give you the opportunity to buy cool stuff? Being on the same page financially will lead to a better relationship down the road.
Children : Obviously, "The One" for you should agree with you on whether or not children will be a part of your future. You should also agree on how they should be raised and cared for.
Education Level : Typically, couples who have a similar education level are more compatible over time as well. If you have a doctorate degree and your love interest has a high school diploma, chances are your goals and values may be off when it comes to valuing education.
#6. "The One" Will Be Your #1 Fan
People naturally gravitate toward what feels good. Nothing feels better than being with a partner that believes in you and supports your efforts in life. We all need a cheerleader and "The One" for us, should hold the biggest pom poms!
When I finally met my husband, I was at a place in my life where I really wanted a life partner. I wasn't looking for the hottest guy on the block anymore. I wasn't looking for the richest man in the world, either. I was looking for a nice guy. A true partner, someone I could count on, a man with honesty and integrity, values similar to mine and life goals that fit with mine too.
I didn't know my husband was "the one" when I first met him. In fact, I didn't even consider dating him. Not because I didn't find him nice and attractive (which he is, by the way) I just didn't take notice.
Who do you know that you have not "taken notice" of? Who have you met lately that seems to be a quality person? Is there someone that you find attractive and who shows an interest in you? Maybe it is a "friend" who you have not considered dating. Perhaps you should take another look. Maybe, "The One" is right in front of your eyes!
Jackie Mahaney is a dating & relationship journalist as well as an inspiring author of a novel titled, Meet Delaney and host of "Everyday Woman". Mahaney writes about life's personal relationships with honesty, integrity and of course, humor! To learn more about her books, relationship events and web tv show, visit http://www.jackiemahaney.com
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