Love Stoppers - Not My Type
By Michelle Enis Vasquez
Love Stoppers are limiting beliefs that keep you from finding and keeping love. They are the viruses that infect your mind, making all of your positive affirmations ineffective until you get serious and make the decision to get rid of them.
When you automatically dismiss a potential date as "not my type" you are allowing a love stopper to get in your way. While it is perfectly acceptable to have preferences, when you define your "type" too narrowly, you block the possibility of meeting someone outside of this narrow focus who may be a great match for you.
For simplicity, this article will focus on physical appearance. Initial attraction is based largely on what you see in another person: how he dresses, her physical form, the color of his eyes, the curve of her mouth, the way he stands, the way she walks, and so on. What turns you on and determines your type was programmed early on, so...
It is very important to figure out where your preferences come from:
What age were you when you decided who you were attracted to?
If you were a teenager, does your preference still fit for you as someone in your 30's or older?
Did someone else tell you her/his type and you adopted this type as your own?
What was happening during the time of your life when you decided on your type?
If you are only attracted to a very specific body type, how did that come about?
Once you have figured out your type and hopefully updated it to include where you are now, you can see what the range of your type is.
Are you only attracted to men who wear black or can you expand your palate to include men who wear other colors?
Are you only willing to date women who are a certain height and weight or are you game to consider women who are 10 pounds over or under your specifications or a few inches taller or shorter?
Is a man with a tattoo always a deal breaker or could you give yourself a chance to get to know more about him first?
Will you still only consider redheads or can you be persuaded to give other colors of hair a chance?
If you only date people your age or younger, under what circumstance would you consider dating someone older?
Consider this information carefully. Figure out where your preferences come from, whether they still serve you, and whether you are willing to give people who do not fit "your type" a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised when you decide to widen your preferences. If nothing else, you will give yourself the opportunity to get to know another human being. What is holding you back?
If you are locked into a very specific type of person who you are attracted to and you want to widen your focus, relationship coaching can help. I invite you to get my free report, "Why am I Still Single and What Can I Do About it?" at http://trueloverelationshipcoaching.com.
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